Thursday 30 January 2025 marks Parent Mental Health Day. Employers are increasingly aware of the need to support employees in balancing their work with home responsibilities, which in some cases, includes being a parent or carer.
Here, Helen Burgess, employment partner at Gateley Legal explores how employees with parental or caring responsibilities can be best supported, with the following top tips.
Flexibility
It’s an obvious one but vitally important. Giving employees the flexibility, on an ad hoc basis, to meet parenting demands like school pick-ups, parents’ evenings, sports days, school shows, etc. can really help build a trusting relationship between employer and employee. Provided the work gets done, and there is no specific time sensitivity in achieving the outcomes, does it always matter which hours in the day are worked to achieve that? Of course, all employees have the right to make two formal requests a year to work flexibly and the Government’s proposals in the new Employment Rights Bill seek to make flexible working the ‘default’ from day one for all workers except where it is ‘not reasonably feasible’.
Show interest
Employers/ line managers ought to be aware of the employees who have children within their teams. You do not need to know any child’s favourite TV show or life aspirations but just knowing that the child exists (and ideally knowing their name) again really helps in building relationships and shows the employee that their line manager cares and can make them feel seen, valued and able to bring their whole self to work.
Be sympathetic
Sometimes children get ill which means they cannot go into school or nursery and for those parents who do not have any alternative support, it means they have to be at home to take care of their child (or they may want to be at home with them). Last minute illnesses can be very stressful and managing a busy work diary around looking after a poorly child can be very difficult, especially for single parents/ carers. The parent/ guardian does not need an added layer to that stress of an employer who is not understanding or empathetic of the situation. (It’s never a good idea to ask: “is there not anyone else who can look after them?” – there may well not be.) At such times it’s important to acknowledge the importance of family life and wellbeing over work life. Of course, if the child is frequently ill and it is impacting on the employee’s ability to do their job on a regular basis then this is a different conversation with the employee.
Open conversations
The “when does maternity/ parental leave start?” and “when are you coming back?” conversations can be tricky. The best approach is to not apply any pressure to the employee as ultimately you want them back and you want them to want to come back! Flexibility and open conversations, focusing on how the employer can make the employee’s new life of parenthood work with their role will no doubt be greatly appreciated. Employers should try and focus on creating solutions rather than hurdles to work around for the employee and their new parenting responsibilities. It’s also a good idea to have a loose plan around communications while the employee is off on leave – what information do they want to receive, how often and in what format? Do they want to be invited to client, social or other events? Some employers designate a particular senior manager in the business to be responsible for updating and checking in with those on any form of parental leave.
Understand that times have changed
We are in a world where maternity leave can be split between parents as ‘shared parental leave’. Both parents, regardless of gender, can take time off to care for their children, with more and more couples wanting to split parental leave more equally. Those changes should be encouraged rather than challenged or ridiculed (some men – in both same and opposite sex relationships – report being asked inappropriate questions by their line manager around why they want to look after their children and why the ‘mother’ isn’t taking the time off instead of them). An employee’s decision to take parental leave, no matter what their family structure looks like, should be respected.
Sensitivities
Recognise that while some people choose not to be parents, some may be having trouble conceiving or may have reached the end of their journey and are childless not by choice. This will be very difficult for any employee and, depending on their situation, it may be something that they continue to live and deal with every day. It’s therefore important not to ask personal questions about when a colleague is going to start “settling down to have children” or when they might “have another one” as this can be incredibly triggering.
Miscarriage and baby loss
Employers should have an empathetic and supportive policy or approach to miscarriage and baby loss. Having that supportive culture helps employees get through such difficult times knowing that their employer is on their side and that work is one less thing for them to worry about. In being sensitive and flexible with bereavement leave, employers benefit from greater employee retention and commitment (when the person returns to work). Those who suffer the tragic loss of a baby after 24 weeks of pregnancy can take two weeks’ of bereavement leave under current legislation. However, the Women and Equalities Committee has recommended an amendment to the Employment Rights Bill to include a period of paid leave for all women and partners who experience a pre-24-week pregnancy loss.
Acknowledge Parent Mental Health Day
Whether that is coffee and cake in the kitchen or even just a special mention about it via some internal communications, it would no doubt be appreciated by employees to see their employer recognise the difficult job in balancing work and parental responsibilities.
All the above tips should be relatively easy for employers to achieve, with minimal to no financial cost to implement, and the results in terms of creating an open and supportive environment for parents to flourish both in the workplace and at home will be priceless.
Of course, those without children or caring responsibilities will benefit from a lot of the above tips too and should be considered when employers are designing policies generally.